Parents Make A Difference

Here are some basics facts that highlight this issue about the influence that parents have on their teens:

• The three leading causes of death among adolescents — unintentional injuries, homicide, and suicide — as well as unsafe sexual behavior are closely yoked to alcohol use.
• A study of adolescents’ emergency room visits found that 40% had a positive blood alcohol level.
• A major national study found that 40% of parents think they have little influence over their adolescent’s decision to use drugs or not.
• Approximately 45 percent of parents indicate that it is likely their teens will use illegal drugs.
• By the age of 17 approximately 12 percent of adolescents can be categorized as at risk for substance abuse.
• There is a genetic component associated with the presence of alcohol or drug dependence.
• In the same way that diabetes, or hypertension, or breast cancer can run in families, so too is this true of alcohol or drug dependence.
• Adolescents consistently have a very inaccurate perception of actual alcohol and drug use patterns. For example, one study found that high school students thought that twice as many of their peers were regular weekly drinkers than was actually the case.

Appreciate Your Influence

Parental influence operates as a natural harm-reduction mechanism that helps protect teenage drinkers from developing alcohol problems.

Parents influence their children’s drinking through family interactions, modeling and reinforcing standards, and attitudes that children learn and use to guide their behavior in new situations. Thus, parental influences endure.

An important predictor of whether a teenage boy will have an alcohol related driving offense or accident, is whether his parents are negative (rather than neutral) about teenage drinking.

The quality of family relationships and the amount of time adolescents spend with family is a more important influence on adolescent’s substance use than is the kind of family in which teenagers are living, whether it is with both parents, a parent or step-parent, in a single parent home, or live with non-family members.

Adolescents’ perceptions of the parenting style in their home are linked to their substance use. Teens who view their parents generally as authoritative (know what they are talking about), as not permissive (who have standards and clear expectations), and as less authoritarian (“do it because I say so”) do better in school and also are less likely to use substances.

Experimentation and use among elementary age children is associated with parenting styles that encourage risk taking, by parent's substance use.

Adolescent drinking behavior is found to be largely unrelated to the socio-economic circumstances of the family. A supportive family environment is associated with lowered rates of alcohol use.

Parents’ health habits influence their children. This goes from wearing bike helmets, to using seat belts, to drinking patterns and being a smoker. The younger the child the more powerful is the parent’s model.

If you have any concern about your own substance use, act on this. People don't often worry about their alcohol or drug use needlessly. If you are a smoker, maybe now is the time to quit.

Get Stack The Deck: How to Drug & Alcohol Proof Your Child
www.Prevent-Drug-Abuse.com

Parenting for Prevention

How do I, as a parent, start Parenting for Prevention?

Choose ‘teachable moments’ to discuss drugs and alcohol - instigate a discussion (not a lecture) around a TV program, news story or advertisement... talk about prevention in the context of how the media portrays smokers and drinkers as smart, beautiful sophisticated and compare this to reality. Remember this is drug prevention for parents

Ensure that your children realize that not ‘everybody’ is doing drugs and drinking. We know that if adolescents perceive drugs use to be more prevalent than it really is they are more likely to try drugs themselves - so set them right! This is the core of drug prevention for parents.

Improve your listening skills. Watch for body language, give non-verbal encouragement, use the right tone of voice to encourage children to share their worries, do not use sarcasm and do not humiliate the child. Drug prevention for parents is a full time job. Treat it as such.

When discipline is necessary remember to criticize the action, not the child. Try to make any punishment appropriate to the behavior - for example coming home later than expected could mean the curfew being earlier the next week. Think carefully before declaring what any discipline is to be - and stick to it.

Build self-esteem - set realistic targets, give real responsibility, praise any achievements or improvements - especially if the child does not make the A grade! These are the strategies that “Drug and Alcohol Proof Your Child” recommends as drug prevention for parents.

Get Stack The Deck: How to Drug & Alcohol Proof Your Child
www.Prevent-Drug-Abuse.com

Signs of Drug Use

What should I, a parent, look for?
What are some of the signs and symptoms of drug use?

Many parents are worried that their child may begin using drugs. There are stories in the media which swing from shock, horror, addiction and death to so-called debates about the legalization of cannabis - which is said by some to be harmless.

What are parents to believe?

They are right to be concerned - drug use should be taken very seriously. This article sets out to give some factual information for parents - about the signs of drug use and the symptoms of drug use and also about prevention of drug use.

Sometimes parents will notice things which on their own mean nothing - but the following things have all been recognized by parents whose child has subsequently been found to be using drugs. These signs and symptoms of drug use are the real deal.

Phone Calls. Teenagers and the telephone usually mean long phone calls - does your child hang around’ the phone sometimes and pick it up as soon as it rings… replies very briefly and then leaves the house - returning after a short time. This can often be a dealer friend phoning to say that they are nearby with some drugs. This is one of the first signs of drug use.

Bedrooms. Do you often find the windows open even on cold days ? Lots of air-freshener being used? This can be to disguise the smell of cannabis being smoked in the room. This is another one of the signs of drug use.

Money. Does your child never seem to have money nowadays? Do you notice that valuable things seem to be missing - cameras, jewellery etc. Drug users often sell items to buy drugs - at first their own but later they may steal from the family. Disappearing money or valuable items is another warning sign of drug use. It can also be a symptom of drug use.

Language. Users do not speak of “using drugs” - they will say someone “does drugs” - watch for words like gear, deals, straight, clean, munchies, clucking, - and slang terms for drugs. Get to know the language… certain words and phrases are clear signs of drug use or drug involvement.

If you are worried that your child may be involved with drugs it is important not to ignore matters. Of course it is better to try to prevent use at the first sign and symptom of drug use - and research has shown the following:

Parents who are too strict or too easy-going are more likely to have children who use drugs. Firm, fair and age-appropriate discipline is best.

Families should eat together and have regular family meetings’ where things like holidays, pocket-money, chores, curfew times are discussed. Each family member should be allowed to contribute and should be listened to. This is a critical step in drug prevention and is a critical response to any first sign of drug use.

Any infringement of agreed rules (such as home by 11.00 p.m.) should be dealt with in a consequential way. Punishments should be made to fit the incident. From babyhood parents should agree together on standards of behavior - if you say it you must mean it! Although staying out late is not by itself a sign of drug use, when other things are factored in, parents should take heed.

Celebrate and praise! Parents should have a simple rule of thumb - for each time you need to criticize you should subsequently praise at least twice for behavior which you want repeated. Celebrate any small improvements and see the child blossom. These are good drug prevention strategies.

Is your teen less responsible ... comes home from school late, forgets family occasions, ignores requests to help with chores, uses bad language, becomes argumentative and tells parents “don’t hassle me”? Again, when these are added to other factors, they may present a warning sign of drug use… or maybe a symptom of the effects of drug use.

Clothes, music, hair styles ... do they now wear totally different clothes and hair styles ...listen to different music, become less interested in academic work and demand permission to stay out later and to have more ‘privacy’?

Is communication more difficult... does your child refuse to talk about new friends, go ‘out’ without saying where they are going; tend to defend the ‘recreational’ use or legalization of drugs when the topic is discussed on TV or radio; declares teachers are unfair; defends the ‘rights’ of children and talk about the ‘bad habits’ of adults who use alcohol or smoke cigarettes?

Physical changes ... has your child lost weight, changed sleep patterns - cannot sleep till early hours of morning, cannot wake up in the morning, increased appetite for sweet snacks, very thirsty, becomes very forgetful and seems to have lost all motivation for exams, or future careers?

Parents must be very aware of what’s happening with teens… particularly when looking for signs and symptoms of drug use.

Get Stack The Deck: How to Drug & Alcohol Proof Your Child
www.Prevent-Drug-Abuse.com

Be There for Teens: A Guide for Parents

Parents of teenagers describe the teen years as a time of change, fear, rebellion, moodiness, disrespect, and frustration. But they also say it can be a time of fun, growth, adventure, sharing, understanding, and learning. Research shows that one of the best things you can do for your teen is simply to be there for them.

Here are ten tips to help you focus on the positive and build a stronger and more enjoyable relationship with your teens:

1. Tell your teens that you love them and show them through your actions.

Teens need to know that you love them. Never assume that they know. Tell them often and show them by giving them space to grow, succeed, and even to make mistakes they can learn from. When they make mistakes or do things that upset you, it's still important to let them know you love them. Try saying things like, "I love you, it's your behavior I don't like."

2. Give your teens the gifts of time and attention.

Be there for your teens. Take an active interest in their activities (go to their sports events, school functions, music performances) and try to include them in yours. Set aside specific times for one-on-one activities and give them your undivided attention. If your teens want to talk and you are in the middle of something, try to stop what you are doing and listen.

3. Want to know what your teens are doing? Learn to listen and listen to learn.

Getting your teens to talk to you can be hard. One way to get them talking is to ask questions that lead to more than a "yes/no" answer, and then listen when they talk. Ask them how they feel and help them to describe what they are feeling. Every day you can find times for talking with your kids (at the dinner table, in the car), but you may also want to set aside special times for one-on-one conversations. In any case, be ready to listen when they are ready to talk. When you listen, the reward may be that they will talk to you even more about the things that are important to them. Also, listen to other people involved in your kids' lives (their teachers, coaches, friends, parents of their friends). They can all tell you something about your kids that you may not know.

4. Set an example. You're the greatest influence on your child's life.

Be the kind of person you want your teenager to be. Talk to your teen about what you believe and what you expect of him or her. Show that you are responsible for your actions and keep the promises you make to your teen. Then set a good example. Remember, kids learn by watching.

5. Parenting is a tough job. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Being a parent can be hard work. As your children grow and learn, you are also growing and learning as a parent. Don't be afraid to admit there are things you don't know or understand. Talking to friends, other parents, or your own parents can be helpful. Asking for help only means that you are trying to be the best parent you can be.

6. Set rules and live by them.

Part of your job as a parent is to create a safe environment for your kids. Even though teens won't say it, limits actually make them feel safe and loved. To create a safe environment, tell your kids what is acceptable behavior and help them to develop self-control. Sit together as a family to set rules and discuss what happens if they are broken. Talk about why the rules should be followed, and once they are set, work together to live by them.

7. Talk to your teens, even about uncomfortable things.

Talking about uncomfortable things such as feelings, relationships, sex, or drugs can be hard. Your teens may act like they know everything, but don't be fooled. It is your job as a parent to help them learn how to handle difficult situations. So, be ready-know the facts and what you want to say. Sometimes you won't have the answers to your kids' questions. That's okay. Just be honest and tell them when you don't have the answer. Then go find it together.

8. Praise your teens. Tell them when they are doing a good job.

Praise your teens for the good things they do. Be specific about what you are praising them for and give your praise as soon as they earn it. For example, instead of saying "you're a good kid," tell your teen, "I am proud of the way you handled that situation this morning." Telling them you're proud helps build self-esteem and is more effective than criticism.

9. Help your teens set goals.

Encourage your teens to think beyond today. Get them talking about the future, what they want for themselves and what it will take to achieve their plans. Show your teens that you support their goals by being there to guide their decisions. Most importantly, expect your kids to succeed.

10. Remember, you're the parent, they're the teens.

No one ever said that raising kids is easy. There will be times when you will have to make difficult decisions concerning your teens-decisions they won't like. But remember, they are teens, not adults, and they still need your help and guidance in handling all the problems and feelings they face.

Get Stack The Deck: How to Drug & Alcohol Proof Your Child
www.Prevent-Drug-Abuse.com